Commonly felt across the globe are feelings of isolation, loneliness, desperation, or simply being out of place at a time of year that revolves so centrally around the family unit. How do we juxtapose the drive and yearning for closeness to the One Above, as we proclaim Him King, with the desperate cravings to find inner peace and serenity with our own personal king or queen?
How can we find meaning, positivity, and growth during this difficult time of year so that we will be left positive, energized, and prepared for the New Year?
It is very important when heading into any holiday, to focus on the importance of the holiday and not define it by context of family or friends in which it is commonly celebrated.
For some, family may bring comfort, warmth, support and a safe haven from the overwhelm and challenges of singlehood. For others, the word family is enough to send shivers up their spine, as you bolt for a good book to drown yourself in so you don’t have to face the constant harassment. “Have you met anyone lately?” “Where is he already?” “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you… you need to look your best right now!” “What about X? I really liked him…have you given him any more thought?” “You know what you need to be davening for this year! “This is the year…I’m telling you I can feel it!” If any of these sound familiar, you unfortunately have plenty of company.
Try to focus on the environment that will be most conducive to your goal. Go where you feel comfortable and inspired. If family and friends make you feel at home – not judged, and safe, use that boost to help focus your growth and davening. If being away from family and friends will have the most calming effect on your Rosh Hashana, then do that. What’s key is the message of the new year: a new leaf with new opportunities.
There is a time for breaking out of your comfort zone, stretch yourself and working hard on developing weak emotional muscles, but yom tov is not that time!
Buy yourself something special, prepare yourself with inspirational classes and learning, come prepared for the day, go where you feel most yourself. Most importantly, know that Hashem has your address and knows where to find you when it’s your time.
Most importantly, know that Hashem has your address and knows where to find you when it’s your time.
With these tips in mind, you will be able to quiet the distracting static surrounding you. You will be able to wrap yourself in the cocoon of Hashem’s love and focus on the day. The meaning of the day, the sweetness and weight of the day, and what just one day and one prayer can do to change your year, your life, and your future.
May you find that safe inner place within which nobody can disturb you and your passion for connection to the one above.…the ONLY one that can carry you the shortest distance to your longest relationship.
