Shidduch Dating Coach for
Marriage Minded Singles

Feeling confused or stuck in the maze of shidduchim, shadchanim, resumes, dates, online dating, singles events and all the rest? Shidduch dating coach Rachel Burnham will help you navigate to connection and lifelong companionship.

Rachel’s deep experience and expertise comes from the trenches. She dated for 14 years. Hundreds of men, thousands of dates. Between her own experience and those of the countless clients and friends she’s counseled she’s successfully confronted virtually every scenario in modern frum / Orthodox dating.

Rachel’s coaching approach is to minimize time to value. Within one session you’ll already have actionable tips and guidance that will allow you to make dating decisions with more clarity and confidence.

Outsource Your
Shidduch Dating Stress!

For Singles

Rachel coaches singles of all ages and meaningfully improves dating experiences and outcomes for both men and women.

For Parents and Friends

Dating can be stressful for the parents of singles as well as for others who care and support them. Rachel guides this “support team” so that they can provide what singles most need in the moment and long term.

Coaching Services


Build Your Dating Profile

Optimize your dating profile to craft the most efficient, concise, and unique portrayal of who you really are. This discussion includes how much self-revelation is optimal, how to pick references, and how to best use photographs in your dating profile.


Find and Select The Right Dates

Too many choices can be overwhelming and frustrating, while too few will not give you enough opportunities to date and discover your match by experience.  To address this Rachel will help ‘widen your net’ so that you are using all research and networking opportunities available. She will also coach you on how to most effectively choose from those options you have available.


Pre Date Preparation and Post Date Review

Get into the proper “headspace” for your date and identify any mental blocks you might be experiencing that are preventing you from having the most enjoyable and connective time on your dates. After your date Rachel will analyze with you what went well and what could have gone better. Together with her you’ll figure out whether it’s in your best interests to go out again and how to best “say yes” and “say no”.


How to Navigate Advanced Stages of Dating

As a dating relationship advances, there are ever greater demands of emotional intimacy and personal vulnerability to move the relationship forward. While this stage can be unsettling, particularly if you’ve been hurt in the past, its the best way for you to truly understand and connect with your date.

The focus in this stage is to help you pace yourself so you can both open up and stay safe. Rachel will guide you in drawing out your date’s deeper emotional world so that you don’t feel stranded and alone as you attempt to create a more profound emotional connection.


When and How to Get Engaged

The period of engagement can be one of tremendous excitement, but also one of great stress and anxiety. The sheer number of important decisions that need to be made between the couple and family can fray at the young bonds that are being formed between you and your fiancee. Rachel will assist you in sorting out and focusing on priorities, guide you in communication with the wider family, while ensuring you continue to nurture your emerging relationship.


Dealing with Wedding Stress and Jitters

Build the confidence and security to make or respond affirmatively to a proposal. Although you might have been dating for a while, the decision to commit your life to somebody is no small feat. Rachel helps you review your life and dating priorities carefully so that you can develop the peace of mind and security to respond with confidence.

Equally as important, you may discover that you need to continue dating or that you may need outside assistance before you can consider engagement. Rachel will work with you to ensure you strike the balance you’ll need to remain invested in the relationship while you complete the mental process you’ll need before you can get engaged.


First Year Adjustments

‘Shanah Rishonah’, your first year of living together, can be a time of tremendous joy, discovery, and connection. It can also be a time of frustration, hurt, and unfulfilled expectations. Either of these outcomes can result from the process of joining your life with another person.

To bring balance, peace, and reliable love into your lives will require both an understanding of the different ways in which men and women experience and express themselves as well as how to communicate about these differences. Rachel’s coaching can assist you in identifying the recurring patterns of tension in your relationship and learning how to break through those barriers to secure peace in your home.

Dating Advice Videos

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Or Try My Dating Advice Podcasts

Attracting Love

Extraordinary Jews

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Community Resources

Rachel’s eager to help community activists dedicated to supporting our singles!


Singles Events and Weekends

Rachel has served as a panelist, facilitator, and designated coach for singles events of all varieties on both sides of the Atlantic. If you’re organizing an event and need someone singles can connect with, confide in, and gain support from, Rachel is happy to bring the unique contributions of a shidduch dating coath to the success of your event.



Rachel offers FREE appointments for Shadchanim to consult with her about the complex dynamics being faced by their dating singles. Whether you’re acting as a shadchan for the first time or are an experienced shadchan facing a unique circumstance, Rachel can help you bring about better outcomes for your couple.


Video & Audio Webinars

Shidduchim are difficult enough as it is, you don’t need to face this challenge alone! Whether you are a single, a parent, a shadchan, or just a concerned community member, Rachel offers FREE webinars by video and audio to ANY group of 10 or more people looking to gain insight into and guidance on dating dynamics.


About Rachel

Rachel Burnham was born in New Haven, CT and earned both her BA in psychology and MA in Occupational Therapy in New York City. As an OT she worked in a wide variety of settings, which honed her natural gift of intuition and ability to actively listen. Most importantly, for close to a decade she worked every day to give people the confidence and tools to live purposeful and independent lives.

Rachel married Rabbi Ozzie Burnham at the age of 34. That moment was particularly special for her as she had been dating for 14 years, in which time she went out on thousands of dates with hundreds of men.

In addition to her own broad dating experience, as a matchmaker and mentor Rachel has guided countless singles and dating couples towards connective, meaningful, satisfying, and loving relationships. A naturally outgoing ‘people person’, Rachel’s enthusiasm about relationships and appreciation of the benefits deep connection brings makes her coaching not only her profession but her passion as well.

In her free time Rachel is involved in Jewish outreach and loves to travel and exercise. Rachel lives with her husband and four children in Silver Spring, MD where they work every day to keep themselves on the shortest route to their longest relationship.


We’ve been dating for months and have really been on the fence as to how we should move forward.

It’s taken me 10-15 sessions with a psychologist to accomplish what we’ve done in this marathan conversation

M&E Consultant, Upper West Side, Manhattan

Rachel is an AMAZING shidduch dating coach. Seriously, I wouldn’t be able to date without her help. Dating in your 30’s as a Baal Teshuva is stressful and difficult and emotional.

Rachel is the calm in the storm, keeping me grounded and level-headed as I go out with different guys. I really appreciate her support and guidance and am grateful that I know her.

Software Developer, San Fransisco, CA

Over the course of my dating life, I found myself in many confusing situations. Thank G-d someone suggested I speak to Rachel Burnham. I’m normally a very skeptical person and I have a very high standard for who I confide in, but immediately I found she was someone I could trust.

Rachel is intelligent, experienced, and confident. I also find her easy to talk to and very “with-it”. Throughout my relationship with her as a mentor, she was never afraid to speak candidly about sensitive topics or speak very directly to me about what she thought I needed to hear. Best of all, she never talked down to me.

I very much trusted her opinion and found her advice to be spot-on. Over the years or so that I would speak with her, she saved me from countless big mistakes that would have been very no doubt been very painful!

Business Management, Ceaderhurst, NY

Having spent many years searching for a husband, Rachel helped smooth the rocky roads of those years. With patience, she gave me the invitation to talk over my feelings.

Her insight and encouragement gave me the tools to help develop a relationship and make informed decisions ultimately leading to the most important decision of my life.

I will be forever indebted to Rachel for her guidance during the most crucial point of my life. Baruch Hashem today I am happily married and Rachel helped me get to this moment of my life!

Teacher, Far Rockaway, NY

We’ve only had two sessions and you’ve already given me so much more than the many therapists I’ve spoken to. I really appreciate it!

Speech Therapist, Montreal, Canada

Working with Rachel has been a tremendously positive experience for me.  It’s a pleasure speaking with someone who has so much coaching experience and perspective on how to cultivate healthy relationships.


She has helped guide me in my relationship not only by providing very helpful and honest advice when needed, but also by giving me and my partner valuable tools and resources needed to grow together long term.

Engineer, Los Angeles, CA

As an older single, I have had a hard time in my dating career. I found Rachel to be an open-minded and very rational dating coach. I never felt like she was telling me to do things a certain way or giving me a one size fits all approach to dating and relationships.

Rachel has much wisdom and insight to share and she did so in a very honest, non-judgemental way. I am currently dating someone very seriously and it is in no doubt thanks to Rachel that it has progressed this far!

Accountant, Silver Spring, MD

Rachel has guided me through the dating process many times. She has so much insight and understands the nuances and subtleties of difficult dating situations.

Through talking to her, I felt empowered to follow my gut instincts and make good dating decisions. Rachel encouraged me to narrow down ‘my list’ and be realistic in my expectations and what I am looking for in a spouse. I am so grateful to Rachel for her help – I couldn’t have done it without her!

Therapist, London, UK

I will forever be indebted to Rachel for her guidance, inspiration and tough love. I was married for 23 years in an empty marriage filled with deep resentment, loneliness, and abuse. When my husband passed away I found myself in one sided unfulfilling relationships again.

This all ended when I met Rachel. I began to feel my own value and would not tolerate a man who did not treat me with the respect, dignity, and preciousness which I so richly deserved. With great kindness from Hashem I am now married to a wonderful warm caring and loving man. Please do whatever Rachel tells you. I will forever be in her debt. I love her and so will you!!

Nurse, Denver, CO


What does a shidduch dating coach do?

Think of a shidduch dating coach as a personal trainer for your dating life. People get fit without personal trainers, but they’re likely to get their faster, with less pain, and with more focus if they have professional help.

How is a dating coach different than a rebbe/rebbetzin or mentor?

Your rebbe/rebbetzin or mentor is probably extraordinary in many ways. That said, they’re not likely to have the depth of experience with dating that a coach like Rachel has both personally and through the many unique types of clients with whom she’s worked. 

Rachel has guided singles in their twenties and in their sixties. People who were never married and people who were married multiple times. Extremly vivacious and stable daters as well as those with signficant mental or emotional handicaps. Clients who are chassidish and clients who are not Jewish. This is Rachel’s speciality, what she does with laser focus and deep passion.

How much does this service cost?
  • An hour of coaching is $175
  • Sessions can be broken down to any size that’s convenient for you. You pay only when your sessions have added up to an hour.
  • Refer a friend and get a half hour session free! If you refer a friend that completes an hour’s worth of coaching, you get half an hour for free.
Do you coach both women and men?

Absolutely. Although Rachel is a woman, she dated 220 men and learned a thing or two about how men can date best along the way. Additionally, every client of hers is either a man or dating a man. Finally, Rachel is happily married to a manly man with all the wonderful quirks of the male gender so she gets to put here relationship building skills into active practice all the time:-)

Would you be willing to speak at our singles events?

Absolutely! Rachel does this because she wants to make sure singles never have to endure another singles event and so that whatever events they do attend are as pleasant and productive as possible. Please reach out so we can be in touch.

What age singles do you mentor?

Age is just a number;-) 

Seriously though, Rachel has worked with singles who have yet break 20 as well as singles with grandchilren. 

If you’re seeking the critical perspectives and skills to get down to that chuppah, Rachel can help!

Do you only work with people who are both Jewish and observant?

Although Rachel’s primary client body is both Jewish and frum / observant, she has most certainly worked with many Jewish singles who are not religiously observant. 

It’s less common for her to work with non-Jewish clients, simply because her referral network is within the Jewish community. That said, the dating priciples she helps clients apply have broad applicability and anybody is welcome to call for a consult to see if her coaching in the right fit.

Do you work with parents of singles?

Rachel most certainly does work with parents, more often that one might imagine a shidduch dating coach is called upon to do. 

She spans the full gamut: parents who are just starting to call shadchanim and help with writing a shidduch resumes or those that have children in the thick of the “shidduch crisis”. 

She also works with many parents who themselves are not frum / observant and are trying to figure out what the entire shidduch system is about and how best to be supportive of their children.

How and when does the coaching take place?

Coaching almost always takes place over the phone. Over time Rachel has found that this is both most convenient for clients and also provides space for her and clients to explore challenging dynamics with a degree of objectivity that might be more challenging in person.

How can I get a sense of what coaching with you be will be like?

That’s an easy one. Hit Rachel with what you’ve got!

Schedule a call to discuss a very real challenge in dating and put her to the test! The initial 15 minute consult is free, and in that time you’ll quickly figure out if this is going to bring you real value or not.

Let’s Chat!

An initial 15 minute consultation is absolutely free and will give you a good idea whether or not this is the right fit for you.